[Chapter: Intro]
NO, DUMMY, IT’S NOT LIKE CATHOLICS VERSUS PROTESTANTS.
Noooo, dummy, it’s not like Catholics versus Protestants. In this episode of Satansplain and the one to follow it, we’ll explore this notion of Satanism allegedly having different DENOMINATIONS. We’ll see why this view is inaccurate, and what’s really going on with these so-called “types of Satanism”. We’ll also see why gatekeeping the term “Satanism” is a wise and necessary thing, and the justification for Satanists like myself doing so.
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Magister Bill M. with Satansplain. This particular episode is long overdue, and that’s mainly because it has been in the works for a long time. Some years ago I published an article about the myth of Satanic denominations. It was an article titled “Only One Satanism”, and it was printed in issue number 10 of The Devil’s Diary, a publication by Reverend Draconus Blackthorne. I thought at first of just reading you this essay word for word on the show, but I decided instead to take the general idea and expand on it. Well, long story short, I ended up with about 3 or 4 episodes worth of material. But rather than talk to you for four hours straight, let’s take this one episode at a time.
We have a lot to get into, so to make this easier on you, the listener, I’m going to do what I usually do, and leave timestamp marks in the full description of this Satansplain episode, so you can skip back and forth, and pause and resume, as you like. You’ll no doubt hear some things you may have heard me say in previous Satansplain episodes. Though I do encourage you to listen to episodes in full, at least once. Let us begin.
[Chapter: The problem of misinformation]
I’d like to begin by sharing two quotations. The first is from Anton LaVey’s 1998 posthumous collection of essays, Satan Speaks. Quote: “The only person in recorded history to codify Satanism into an applicable religion is Anton Szandor LaVey”.
The second quotation comes from the opening sentence of an article titled the Satanic Bunco Sheet. Quote: “Because Anton LaVey has made Satanism so popular, everyone wants to jump on the bandwagon.” I’ve chosen to open with those two lines because, as we’ll see with this episode of Satansplain and its follow-up, they’re not only true, but they both explain quite a lot.
So what IS Satanism? Well, I begin each and every episode of Satansplain with a pre-recorded 30 second answer to that question. Granted, it’s not some sort of word-for-word, official, CANONICAL answer to the question, but it’s how I would answer it in my own words. I think it’s good for adherents of ANY religion or ideology to be able to give at least halfway DECENT description of what it is they believe. How often we’ve seen people espousing some particular religion, or ideology, or for that matter protesting some activist cause, and when asked simple questions about what it means or why they’re saying what they’re saying, they suddenly can’t answer. It can happen to any of us, really, particularly when you get so passionately into something that you let the passion run too far ahead of thinking.
But why should I have to describe what Satanism is at the beginning of every episode of Satansplain? After all, podcasts on other topics don’t have to do that. If a podcast is about BASKETBALL for example, I doubt the podcast hosts have to give a quick explanation of how the game is played, because they understandably presume that anybody who’d want to tune in to a basketball podcast would already know that. Nobody calls into a basketball radio show to ask questions about pruning trees or tuning pianos, and get upset when they’re told these things have nothing to do with basketball.
Unfortunately, when it comes to Satanism, CAN seemingly reach those levels of ignorance. That’s because there’s quite a lot of misinformation out there on Satanism.
Not just from Christian propaganda, but the news media, entertainment industry, and other people who like the name “Satanism” so much, they decide to slap it on something it’s not, maybe even deriving their misinformation directly from one of those OTHER sources.
So while obviously you can’t expect to learn everything about a topic by hearing a 30-second synopsis of it, I stillI think it’s good to just have that practical description of Satanism in my own words. Because after all, it’s hard to HAVE a conversation on ANY topic, or otherwise convey information on it, without some mutual understanding of what that topic is in the first place. That alone, I would say is a justifiable reason for me to gatekeep the terminology of my religion. It’s the practicality of having a vocabulary to work with. On top of that, some of the misinformation on Satanism can reach levels where people are driven to such paranoia, they want to see Satanism eliminated from the earth, and see all Satanists exposed, stripped of their rights as citizens, harassed, or worse. We saw a lot of that in the 1980s during the Satanic Panic hysteria. Now obviously we chose the name Satanism knowing that it elicits some controversy. But that’s still no justification for lies about us. As I’ve said before on Satansplain, when you misrepresent my religion, you misrepresent me. Therefore, I feel I’m certainly in my right to call out egregious misuses of the name of my religion of choice.