UK newspaper the Telegraph contacts the Church of Satan for an article on the rise of Satanism. Only to completely ignore our informative reply, and print bullshit instead. Satanism versus the world of incompetent clickbait journalists, on this episode of Satansplain.
[intro]
Magister Bill M. here with Satansplain. Before I dive into today’s topic, I’d like to go over a few basics. Most of you listeners I suspect are Satanists who fully understand Satanism, and know all of the 101-level stuff. Some other listeners however may be relatively new to the topic, so it’s for that reason I like to go over some of the basics now and then.
Satansplain, as I’m sure you listeners have figured out by now, is a talk show about Satanism. What do I mean by Satanism? Well I answer that question at the beginning of each and every episode of Satansplain, with that pre-recorded introduction of mine. I made that recording several years ago when some fellow Church of Satan priesthood members were given the challenge of describing Satanism in 30 seconds or less. Somebody had the idea of asking several of us to record our answer on video, send the answers in, and then they’d be compiled together for a clip on the Church of Satan’s YouTube channel. So that was my answer. Obviously, not all of us had the same answer word for word, because we were each putting the answer in our OWN words. It was clear though that all of us were talking about the same religion. The same philosophy. I would argue that all religions contain some sort of philosophy, but additionally have components like dogma, ceremony, ritual, and symbolism, which philosophies in and of themselves do not. Those of you who’ve read The Satanic Bible already know the importance of these components to humans and, and how and why they’re incorporated into Satanism.
When Anton LaVey founded the Church of Satan in 1966, he said that he did it because if he HADN’T had done it, someone else, probably less qualified, would. And oh, time and time again, we see examples of…these less qualified people, to put it nicely.
The WORD Satanism, in and of itself, has been around for a number of centuries. But it was always one of these accusatory words. A word you called somebody ELSE as an insult. More importantly, there wasn’t an actual RELIGION by the name Satanism. The term “satanism”, with a lowercase “s’, was a pretty general term for blasphemy against the Catholic church and later Christians. The “ism” suffix denoted not a philosophy, but an act. Devil worshipers certainly existed, but that’s what they were called: DEVIL worshipers. And even then, there wasn’t any consistency it seemed to the practice. You had Christian scare propaganda, and then people styling themselves AFTER that propaganda. You had groups like the Hellfire Club and other groups of aristocrats who really just seemed to be looking for a good excuse to indulge in some blasphemy and have an orgy. But again, no consistency necessarily between one group and the next. None of them having an actual RELIGION, no philosophy for day to day life, let alone a religion or philosophy calling itself Satanism. There were also maybe occult religions like Thelema that were ACCUSED of being devil worship by ignorant Christians, but were not in fact devil worship. And more importantly, didn’t call themselves Satanism.
So Satanism AS an actual, codified religion STARTED, as far as I’m concerned, with Anton LaVey and the establishment of the Church of Satanism in 1966. I have seen no evidence to the contrary. I myself am somebody who has studied many, many different religions over the years. And I have determined that Satanism, as defined in The Satanic Bible by Anton LaVey, is the religion for ME. It’s the one that represents my convictions. Hence, I identify as a Satanist.
So what about these other groups who CALL themselves Satanists? Well as far as I’m concerned, they’re NOT Satanists. When I state this on-line, people will try throwing a certain buzzword at me. That buzzword being, gatekeeper. “Oh Bill is a gatekeeper. You’re saying that Satanism is only this thing, and not this other thing. Oh you’re a gatekeeper.” People who use this word are like the people who call somebody a racist or a fascist, and think that this means they’ve somehow won the argument. “You’re a racist. Ha ha, I win. Checkmate, fascist.” It’s really no different from when Christians call you a “sinner”. “You’re a sinner. That means I’m right and you’re wrong. Go repent.” It’s not an argument. Am I gatekeeper? You better believe I am. With all of the misinformation out there about Satanism? Satanists sacrifice animals? Satanists worship the devil? Satanists are reckless hedonists who burn churches and kidnap and chop up unbaptized babies? Satanism is what Charlie Manson practiced, what serial killer Richard Ramirez did? Satanism is behind the New World Order, and it’s Pizza Gate, and it’s Hillary Clinton spirit cooking? Or equally puke-inducing, the idea that Satanism is all about empathy and human social justice and diversity? All of that misinformation and more is out there, and you’re going to tell me Satanism shouldn’t have a gatekeeper? Are you fucking kidding me?
Some of the more intellectually lazy argue that I shouldn’t care. Well no, as I’ve said before, I am a Satanist, so when you misrepresent Satanism, you misrepresent ME. And as I’ve also said before, granted I’m not going to spend every waking moment fighting this misinformation, or think I can ever fully educate the world on it, but I’m not going to just roll over either.
And of course right along with the dirty word of gatekeeper, there’s the accusation of, “Bill, when you say that YOUR Satanism is the only right form of Satanism, that’s just a No True Scotsman Fallacy. That’s just being a religious fundamentalist.” Well I’ve already debunked this argument in Satansplain episode number 31, and one or two other episodes as well. But to briefly Satansplain it here one more time: there really ARE no other forms of Satanism. These different groups calling themselves Satanists are not different denominations of the same religion. The stuff they believe and practice are just way too different, on a fundamental level, to be considered denominations of the same religion. It’s not like Protestants and Catholics where they have more or less the same Bible and just put the focus on different things while still having the elements that distinguish Christianity from non-Christianity. No, we’re talking about people who believe and practice COMPLETELY different things from us, and erroneously and confusingly call themselves by the same label as us.
I’m going to talk about this in more detail later as we look at an article from the Telegraph, from the UK. Because it’s an example of something we see all of the time. 1) Idiots calling themselves Satanists who don’t even practice things resembling Satanism. Or if they DO, needlessly created an organization for seemingly no other purpose than for one guy to call himself the high priest of whatever their name is. And 2, the other thing we see all the time, are clueless journalists who don’t KNOW what Satanism is, but don’t CARE. They don’t CARE about Satanism, they don’t CARE about facts, they don’t research or think critically about anything. They just want good clickbait. So they throw Satanism in a headline. Again, this doesn’t mean the fight against misinformation is hopeless. And there is, on occasion, thankfully, the journalist who DOES care and DOES get it right. Who doesn’t have to lie, or deceptively twist things out of fear of being seen as publicly agreeing with Satanists.
Unfortunately, Gabriella Swerling of the Telegraph is not one of those COMPETENT journalists, as we’ll see when we get into the second half of the show. I’m going to share with you what she privately wrote to the Church of Satan, what we replied with, and what her article ended up saying. None of it included what we said, of course.
Now, when the Church of Satan takes the time to ANSWER a journalist, we don’t always know how it’s going to turn out. Like I said, some do a great job, some do a terrible job, or in cases like this, ignore us completely. As a Church of Satan representative myself, I have done lots of interviews over the years, whether it was a podcast, or broadcast radio, or a newspaper, magazine, television, whatever. Some turned out great, some ended up being terrible because I was edited out of context or something else. Some interviews I thought went great, but then never saw the light of day. Maybe the interviewer was disappointed to learn I wasn’t a baby-chopping devil worshiper. Maybe the interviewer thought I made too much sense and it didn’t fit their agenda. Who knows.
One publication that has CONTINUOUSLY messed up interviews with members of the Church of Satan, is Vice. They’re just such a horrible publication when you get right down to it. I myself was interviewed at least twice by Vice dot com. I remember in one of those interviews, they left a keyword out which changed the meaning of something I said. I tried contacting the journalist who wrote it up, to ask for a correction. Tried multiple times. She never answered. But that was nothing compared to the interview they did with Reverend ASP who ran ASP apparel. It was like they made up entire bits of dialogue of things he’d never say. And it happened with other Church of Satan members, too.
So as much as I said it’s important to correct misinformation on Satanism, when you have a publication like Vice who has just screwed us over time and time again, we just have to say, “No. It’s not worth it. We’re not going to waste our time if you’re just going to mess up what we say and paint us badly for your own clickbait benefit.” In fact, as Satanists we shouldn’t hold back in putting it in less nice terms.
To further illustrate that point, I want to share a letter that was sent to the Church of Satan FROM Vice, and what our response back was.
The letter starts, “Good Morning,
I’m writing to you from the London office of VICE, where I work on the multiplatform team, creating video for our global social media channels.
I’m making a series for the VICE TikTok called ‘Guest Pass’ where we show a day in the life of people from around the world leading interesting lives. I’d love to feature a member of the church, specifically a young satanist and was wondering if you’d know anyone who would be interested in taking part?
We’d need you to spend a day filming them, having them showing us what life is really like as a member of the church and detailing their experience as a Satanist.
It would be a short video profiling their day and how they dedicate time to their craft. I know everyone’s practice differs greatly, so I was wondering if anyone has specific RITUALS that they’d be willing to show and just hanging out with a young satanist - showing a young newcomer to the occult.
Let me know what you think and if you know anyone who would be willing and I can give you some more details, thanks!
Looking forward to hearing from you,
HALLIE JO YEARWOOD
Associate Producer, Multiplatform”
And here was our reply. “No—absolutely not. VICE has always treated our representatives poorly.
The Church of Satan is not open to anyone younger than 18, and, in this current world of bigotry and persecution enflamed by a rising tide of Christian totalitarians, anyone consenting to your proposal would be putting themselves at risk.
Additionally, Satanism is NOT occultism. Rituals are an optional, private tool, and not for sharing with your audience. They are NOT a “craft.”
Finally, your ageism is noted, which is, in our perspective, a form of bigotry. Yes, it is no surprise that you want to cultivate your market and sucker-in younger people via Tik Tok. We think helping you in that effort would be worse than a waste of time, it would be supporting the commercialized venue posing as journalism that VICE has become.
Please do not contact us with any future messages.
Signed, Administration of the
Church of Satan
www.churchofsatan.com”
I mean it’s such an inherently dumb idea anyway. Vice wants us to show a video of a Satanist in his or her personal life? Like we’re a ZOO animal or something? An exhibit? Do they think a Satanist wakes up in the morning and says, “Well, it’s DUSK. It’s time now to stop sleeping and rise up out of my coffin bed. Light the black candles and go to the altar for my incantation. Then I’ll go downtown later, urinate on a church. Pick up some dinner on the way back. Play some heavy metal music for the next 4 hours.” I mean what, is that what they’re expecting? There is no way to win this one. I DO know plenty of members in the Church of Satan who, as far as I can tell, do some pretty fascinating stuff in their personal lives. The Church of Satan is a mutual admiration society like that. But a typical day to day life for a Church of Satan members is obviously going to be completely different for different members. Some members work in an office. Some members work from home. Some members work in a tattoo parlor. Some work in a school. Some are ENROLLED in school. Some are parents who have their hands full with their kids. Some live most of the time on the road as professional musicians and entertainers. So what is Vice expecting? Somebody who just has the gothy or Satanic AESTHETIC going? Are they expecting the most STEREOTYPICAL thing they can find?
There’s no way to win on this one. Show them something stereotypical and it enforces the stereotype, show something else and they’ll stupidly assume all Satanists do this thing or that we must be boring because we don’t fit their expectations. “Oh, this Church of Satan member works in a doctor’s office. Well, I know other people who work in doctor’s offices too. This is nothing special, wah wah Satanists are boring.” Well we’re not here for your entertainment, Vice, sorry. And not to mention, they want US to take the time to film a member’s personal life, make a video of it, so that THEY can air it on THEIR TikTok channel? And only if they like it, of course.
Before we go to the break, I think it’s time to lighten things up again with a Satanic Anecdote. Or as we call them here on Satansplain, a Satanacdote. Cue, the Satancdote theme song.
[song]
I got this email over a week ago from Anthony. But I could tell this satanecdote took place around Christmas time. Anthony writes, “A few weeks ago I was wearing my Lamb of God beanie -- a hat for the heavy METAL band Lamb of God, that is -- I was wearing it while shopping. As I was paying for my purchase the cashier said "I like your hat." [..] She didn't strike me as a fan of Metal but… who knows. I said thank you. She said "gotta remember the reason for the season." My wife and I chuckled as we left the store.”
Oh that naive little Christian cashier. To add to this Satanecdote, I have a similar one, but in the opposite direction. I had a friend, Shawn. Warlock Krowklaws of the Church of Satan. He passed away in 2007. But on his car, he had a bumper sticker for the punk band, Bad Religion. And it had the band’s name, Bad Religion, and their logo, which is a Christian cross with a red circle and a slash over it. Bad Religion. And I found it strange that Shawn had it, because I never saw him listening to any sort of punk music. He never talked about punk music. So one day I said, “So, Shawn, I see that you have a Bad Religion sticker. I had some friends in college who were big fans of that band. But I didn’t know YOU were too.” And he said, “Oh…you mean that’s a BAND? I just bought it because I thought it LOOKED cool. I thought it was just ,you know, blasphemy. BAD Religion. And it had the red circle and slash over the cross.” Oh well. But now I have to wonder if there are Christians out there who put a Lamb of God bumper sticker on their car and didn’t know it was a band.
Let’s take a break. You are LISTENING, to Satansplain.
[break]
Magister Bill M. here with Satansplain. There are many ways to listen to Satansplain. Spotify, YouTube, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, Apple Podcasts, Audible, and more. Not to mention right on the official website itself, Satansplain dot com. Please visit and like Satansplain on Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube, if you use any of those. All of the links can be found on Satansplain dot com. For comments, questions, Satanacdotes, and all that, you can email me. Bill @ Satansplain dot com is the email address.
Speaking of email, and Satansplaining, let’s get to Gabriella Swerling of The Telegraph. She had tried reaching out to the Church of Satan through Twitter. Somebody on our Twitter team then told her to contact the COS directly through the website. (Which makes more sense anyway. You don’t have to worry about a 280 character limit that way.) Here is what she wrote:
>> [email protected] Gabriella Swerling The Telegraph
“Hello,
I'm a journalist for The Telegraph newspaper based in the UK and I'm researching an article about the rise of Satanism in England and Wales, based on the results from last month's Census.
The number of people in England and Wales identifying as Satanists saw a 167 per cent increase between 2011 and 2021. The Office for National Statistics (ONS) researchers found that within that ten-year period, the number of Satanists rose from 1,893 to 5,054. The data formed part of the same publication set which showed that Christians now account for less than half of England and Wales' population for the first time in census history.
I'm looking to speak to someone from your organisation about the rise of Satanism, why it is becoming increasingly popular - particularly in England and Wales, as well as worldwide - and whether or not you think this is linked to the decline of Christianity.
I'd be grateful if I could please speak to someone as soon as possible about this. If it is easier for you to contact me via mobile, please do so. And she gives her phone number. I'm on +447468710448.
Many thanks indeed for taking the time to read this and I hope to hear from you soon.
Kind regards,
Gabriella"
Now, Magus Peter H. Gilmore, high priest of the Church of Satan, then wrote a response and sent it directly back to her. Magus Gilmore shared it with the rest of the Council of Nine. I asked him if I could read, here on Satansplain, both the original letter from Gabriella and his response. He said yes. So, I now read you his reply. I’m going to pause here and there to interject a few thoughts of my own too along the way.
"Greetings:
Your message on Twitter was forwarded to me. I do not speak to any journalist via phone. Questions are asked and answered via email, only.
[Now on a side note, you may be asking what’s wrong with taking an interview by phone. I mean Bill, when you were on Coast to Coast AM, wasn’t that over the phone? Yes, it was. But it was also a live broadcast. The problem with NEWSPAPER journalists who try taking notes by phone, is that you end up typically not having a record of what you SAID, and you have no idea what they wrote DOWN. It’s usually a good way to get things wrong. Again, one of those articles I did for Vice comes to mind. But continuing with Magus Gilmore’s reply.]
Also, it is our long standing policy never to give out membership figures or to endanger local members with journalistic contact since our world is currently an increasingly unstable arena, wherein terrorism and bigotry are inciting punitive violence against people who might be considered threatening, because they may be different from the majority in any community.
Here are some concepts from which you might quote.
[And note what Magus Gimore said here. “From which you might quote”. Obviously, we don’t expect journalists to quote an entire reply of ours verbatim. We know they WON’T do that. We do know that journalists are often looking for soundbites --- self-contained, catchy quotes they can use. So those are things to keep in mind. Continuing with the letter…]
Satanism began as a religion with the founding of the Church of Satan in 1966 by Anton Szandor LaVey. Membership became international within the first year of its existence—we’ve had residents of the UK on our membership roster since the late 1960s. I have been the head of the Church of Satan since April 30, 2001, and we held an international conclave in your nation in 2008.
Individuals who identify with Christianity have generally declined in Western nations, particularly since the 1960s, when alternative religions published readily-accessible literature and had practitioners who could be open about their beliefs.
The repeal of the UK anti-witchcraft law in 1951 allowed neo-pagans to emerge from their secrecy, since prior to then there is a long history of Christian dominated European governments imprisoning, torturing, and executing anyone convicted of heresy and witchcraft.
Even atheists, and Satanism is a form of atheism, could find themselves pariahs if they admitted their choice to forego having faith in any form of supernatural deity. Now, the social stigmas and legal penalties have largely evaporated, so people are not forced into accepting the religions of their parents and families. They are free to select from a wide range of belief systems which they find to be satisfying in leading productive, fulfilling lives.
In the UK, people are often likely to answer official questions with cheeky replies, so one could readily expect plenty of people simply responding in a humorously impudent manner when it comes to such a census.
[And just to add to this point here -- People in the UK and other countries did this some years ago by writing in “Jedi” on a census form asking for religious preference.. Almost 400,000 people in the UK did it. I am not making this up. There is even a page on Wikipedia called “Jedi Census Phenomenon” where this is talked about.
Back to the letter.]
However, Satanism has been a growing religion, particularly since we’ve seen our literature translated into numerous languages, and it often finds people from many nations who see themselves reflected in our writings, who might consider themselves Satanists without joining our organization. The Internet has assisted people to learn about the Church of Satan, as well as many other philosophies.
In recent years we’ve witnessed a growth in activists who CALL themselves “satanists,” as a form of rebellion—an attempt to resist what they consider to be authoritarian, intolerant religious organizations. They are often unaware of Satanism as a codified religion and simply adopt that identification as a form of protest. That youths might want to differentiate themselves by using imagery associated with Satanism—but who have not actually READ any literature or grasped the individualist position of SELF-deification promoted by the Church of Satan—has been in play since heavy metal bands used blasphemy, diabolical lyrics, and demonic symbols to define that musical genre. Marilyn Manson’s early success had many of HIS fans considering themselves Satanists, just because they enjoyed his music and imagery, even though it was solely his OWN artistic vision and not a form of proselytizing FOR Satanism.
Some authoritarian governments are currently promoting Christianity as a means for spreading conservative values, thus governments legally enforcing theism is a returning development. Also, Christianity currently has a growing lunatic fringe, considering that the QAnon followers consider themselves Christians, and they have invented prolific and implausible conspiracy theories which seem to see an Infernal enemy standing against their political heroes. Unfortunately, some current activist groups actually FULFILL their fears in a weak attempt to displace Christianity, thinking that if what they call Satanism enters into areas where prayer and Christian symbolism have been displayed, that Christians will give up what has previously been their hegemony. Of course, that - trick - never - works…Christians, from across the spectrum of adherents to that mythology, believe that their religion is TRUE, and thus they fight back. ESPECIALLY against anyone who is a self-proclaimed ally of their mythical Satan.
Science, reason, and education has increased progressive secularism over the course of history, but FAITH continues to hold fast, particularly in times of social upheaval, as fear and insecurity leads many to seek a SUPERNATURAL solution to man-made problems.
Signed,
Magus Peter H. Gilmore
High Priest, Church of Satan"
So that was the reply. And it was a lengthy reply.
Now then…did Gabriella Swerling from the Telegraph ever USE any bit of this in her article? Any of those quotable lines, which, I don’t know about YOU, but I could see even being in one of those big block quotes in the middle of the article? No, she didn’t use any of it. Does she at least MENTION Peter Gilmore in her article? No. Does she mention the CHURCH OF SATAN? Surely the name would come up on an article like this? Nope, not at all. Did Gabriella Swerling even THANK us for the reply? No.
So…what sort of article DID Gabby write for this article on the supposed rise of Satanism in the UK, if none of the above? Here we go.
[...]
The headline of Gabriella's article is, instead, about some schmuck from the Global Order of Satan UK. Which is what, a social media page?
Headline: “Young sacrifice belief in God on altar of Satanism”
[Sigh…crafty.]
Subtitle: “Leaders of the religion claim its opportunities for people to engage in activism on issues such as gender and sexuality is appealing”
[Uh…what? Last I checked, you can be an activist for those ideas without bringing Satanism into the picture. But the article begins with a quote.
“With our rituals, there’s never any murder, there’s never any sacrifice, there’s never any blood rites to Satan. We don’t worship the devil. We don’t cast magic spells…”
[Well, that sounds accurate at least. Was this some other Satanist from the Church of Satan who was quoted? Or at least some Satanist who might not be a member of the Church of Satan, but is at least getting their descriptions of Satanic ritual from The Satanic Bible?
No, of course not. It’s -- are you ready for this -- Chaplain Leopold of the Global Order of Satan UK. Oh boy, here we go. Another re-inventor of the wheel. “Global Order of Satan UK”? So is it global, or UK?]
The article says, “In fact, as the Global Order of Satan UK – as well as other leaders and members of Satanic groups around the world insist – it would be difficult to spot a Satanist walking down the street.”
[This is printed right under a staged photo of --- presumably Chappy Leo here -- in a cloak, holding a book with a pentagram, weaning a skull mask. Oh yeah, I’m sure there are people who walk by that guy and assume he’s a Quaker or something.]
Yet while the macabre occult rituals, virgin sacrifices, chalices of blood and belief in the actual Devil are a thing of the past, Satanism is luring increasing numbers of young people disillusioned with “outdated” and “dogmatic” traditional religions to join its fold by offering an “alternative” to “stuffy”, traditional faiths.
[Well, yes, Gabby, and we already pointed out that this is nothing NEW. Young people who are feeling rebellious and are drawn to Satanism or a CARICATURE of Satanism.]
The Sunday Telegraph has spoken to leaders and members of Satanic groups around the world who claim that the opportunities Satanism offers people to engage in activism and campaign on issues such as gender and sexuality is part of the appeal for the younger members, particularly those who are increasingly less likely to declare themselves as Christian.
Chaplain Leopold, a 32-year-old London-based undertaker, co-runs the Global Order of Satan UK which he said has seen a 200 per cent increase in membership over the last five years.
[So…does that mean he had a social media page and the numbers went from 4 to 12? 3 to 9? 1 to 3? Was it him, and then 5 years later he got two friends to join? How many of his members are people from Nigeria who think he’s the Illuminati, I wonder? Skipping a little further down.]
According to the Office for National Statistics census, published in November, the number of people in England and Wales identifying as Satanists saw a 167 per cent increase between 2011 and 2021, up from 1,893 to 5,054.
[So I already commented on this earlier. One ADDITIONAL thing I’ll add, is that during that same time, the overall populations of England and Wales increased by about 3.5 million people. So…go figure. Again, we have to wonder how many people were writing this in as a joke. I think the whole phenomenon is a bit strange. I’m not in the UK, so I don’t know how it works there, but here in the US I really don’t recall ever writing “Satanist” on a census forum. Another thing I have to wonder is, did they include it as a checkbox this year, whereas in past years you had to write it in? I don’t know.]
At the same time, the number of Christians dropped so low that they now account for less than half of England and Wales’ population for the first time in census history.
The census data prompted the Archbishop of York to insist that Christianity is not in “terminal decline” and that Jesus suffered setbacks, so Christians will too. The figures revealed that 46.2 per cent of the population (27.5 million people) described themselves as “Christian” in 2021, marking a 13.1 percentage point decrease from 59.3 per cent (33.3 million people) in 2011.
However, the census also revealed an uptick in other less traditional religions, with the number of Pagans up from 56,620 to 73,733 - as well as a rise in the number of Animists - who believe that all natural things have a soul. They increased from 541 in 2011 to 802 in 2021.
Academics claim that this is indicative of a wider trend. Dr David Robertson, senior lecturer in religious studies at The Open University, said: “The appeal of a lot of new religions, including Satanism, is that they offer a form of religion that directly addresses the social issues that matter more to the young people, especially their willingness to be activists.
“And not only do they offer an opportunity for this sort of stuff to actively challenge laws, but also to appeal to the activists among the young people.”
[Well, if Gabby was a competent journalist, this would have been the perfect point to insert one of the quotes from Magus Gilmore’s letter. In fact, let me RE-READ a few sentences from that letter. Gilmore said, “In recent years we’ve witnessed a growth in activists who CALL themselves “satanists,” as a form of rebellion—an attempt to resist what they consider to be authoritarian, intolerant religious organizations. They are often unaware of Satanism as a codified religion and simply adopt that identification as a form of protest. That youths might want to differentiate themselves by using imagery associated with Satanism—but who have not actually READ any literature or grasped the individualist position of SELF-deification promoted by the Church of Satan—has been in play since heavy metal bands used blasphemy, diabolical lyrics, and demonic symbols to define that musical genre.” And again, the example of Marilyn Manson and HIS fans.
But once again, Gabby doesn’t do this. Her article continues.
She titles the next section, “Satanism is a Young Person’s Religion”. Well speaking as a guy in his late 40s I guess I should be flattered.]
Professor Linda Woodhead, head of department theology and religious studies at King’s College London, added that Satanism “is a young person’s religion” but that “the bigger phenomenon we’re seeing is the incredible diversification of the religious and spiritual landscape”. “There’s now a lot of solitary exploration, particularly with the internet, and you can find anything to fit your particular identity, interests, values or beliefs.”
[Well that last part is right. People are taking up things they read about on Wikipedia, without much of any other investment or research, whatever it is. But where does this professor get the idea that Satanism is a young person’s religion? I suppose YOUNGER Satanists may be a little more outward in their appearance, when it comes to aesthetics. And it’s among young people we see some of the loud people screaming “I am a Satanist” when they really aren’t. But to think that older Satanists don’t exist is just silly. Has this professor ever watched the documentary film Satanis? Any other Church of Satan films for that matter?]
However, The Rev Di-ar-maid MacCulloch, Em-er-itus Professor of the History of the Church at the University of Oxford, said: “I’d say that these are all symptoms of people who’ve been disappointed by other religions, or who may only know them superficially, and who are looking for a system of belief to make their own, since our society encourages individual consumer choice and research.”
[So Gabby quotes professors and a Christian reverend, but not the Church of Satan in this. Of course, the article just gets worse.]
Contrary to the stereotypes, only a fringe minority of Satanists actually worship the devil.
[Actually, NO Satanists worship the devil. A person who worships the devil is a devil worshiper, not a Satanist.]
Instead, the religion’s fascination with Satan is more metaphorical, identifying with the figure of the rebel, as epitomised in the protagonist of John Milton’s 17th-century epic poem, Paradise Lost.
[I keep seeing people say this. “Oh, like Paradise Lost. Paradise Lost. Paradise Lost.” How many of the people who SAY this, I wonder, have READ Paradise Lost? I mean, we DO list it in the Church of Satan suggested book list, along with titles from Nietzsche, Carl Jung, Macchiavelli, H.L. Mencken, and dozens of other authors. There are reasons to include Paradise Lost. But I have to wonder how many people who are quick to bring up Paradise Lost have read it. Or would even know why those other authors I mentioned would be just as Satanic. Next line in the article…]
Satanists generally do not believe in a higher power, and instead revolve around a religion “of the self”, believing that it is up to individuals to define their own moral code, and to develop themselves as their own God heads.
[OK, not completely accurate in full here, but probably the most accurate thing she’s written so far.]
Rituals used as form of community bonding
[Ewwww. I don’t do ritual to bond with the community. Even when we do GROUP ritual, it’s not for the community. See the essay, myth of the Satanic community.”
However, this does not preclude Satanists from “having fun getting together and doing rituals in the forest” by candlelight, encircled and enrobed.
Chaplain Leopold said that ritual is used as a form of community bonding and meditation to give people the time to develop “your own personal vision of yourself as Satan”.
[Well, that’s where Gabby is pulling the quote from. And Leopold seems to be…pulling the ritual from his ass.]
“You wouldn’t recognise a Satanist most of the time if you pass them in the street,” he said. “But then we like to have the ritual space, which is when we don the robes and light the candles and hail Satan and everything else we wish to do.
“Because we embrace that aspect – it’s almost like a form of mindfulness, a form of self-actualisation – and while religions think they’re casting magic spells when they perform their rituals, whereas we just believe that we’re all coming together and affirming our bonds as humans.
[Affirming our bonds as humans?]
Despite this, Chaplain Leopold said that because of the “stigma” associated with Satanism, many people may not feel comfortable to declare themselves as affiliated with the religion.
[Well yeah, it does have that stigma, because it’s SUPPOSED to. It’s Satan, the Prince of Darkness. This is the hypocrisy I find so silly. People who want to call themselves Satanists and what they’re doing “Satanism”, but are into the “communal bond”, and “healing” and “social justice” and “empathy”. Sorry, it doesn’t work like that. It’s like “Bikers for Christ”, or “White witchcraft”, or “Christian metal”. Or those bumper stickers in the 1990s that said, “Mean People Suck”. You’re trying to be both a self-righteous do-gooder, and a badass, at the same time. That doesn’t work. “Oh golly gee, I don’t understand why people find the label of Satanist so stand-offish.” Because it’s the fucking point! We’re not here to join the circle of humanity. I mean if you got anything out of Paradise Lost, wouldn’t it be that? Better to reign in hell than serve in heaven, I think the quote is?]
[And of course, Gabby closes the article with two quotes from…guess who.]
Malcolm Jarry, co-founder of The Satanic Temple, based in Salem, Massachusetts, suggested that the ONS figures were a drastic underestimate. He said that his organisation, founded in 2012, has 21,996 members registered from the UK, and around a million followers worldwide.
[Malcolm Jarry by the way is a pseudonym of film director Cevin Soling. Though who knows who the hell is signing off letters with his name these days. As TST’s numbers, well considering all you have to do to be a member is sign up for a mailing list, and that they have paid members who don’t even identify as Satanists in some cases, I wouldn’t trust their numbers. But hey, what do I know, I’m a dirty rotten gatekeeper.]
“The demographics of TST membership are fairly broad but certainly, younger people tend to be more engaged in activism, so they are more visible,” he added. “I think our rise in popularity is founded on our having a set of principles and values that resonate with many people and our rejection of hypocrisy and corruption.”
[Yes, Cevin. You’ve gotten a rise in popularity because with your 7 Tenets and other stunts, you appeal to masses, you appeal to the collective.. The - very - opposite - of - Satanism. As for a rejection of hypocrisy and corruption, your organization is anything but, but that would take a whole other episode to explain.]
That’s the end of Gabriella Swirling’s article from the UK’s Telegram newspaper. Some people might argue that I shouldn’t have given her rag this much attention. I thought however that her questions, our response, and her final article served as a good example of what can go wrong with journalism and Satanism these days. Again, there are some people who get it RIGHT. Journalists who GET it right should be commended. And no, getting it right doesn’t necessarily mean kissing our ass; it’s possible to objectively report on a subject without praising it. But the concept of being an objective journalist seems to be lost on many.
I suppose I could end this episode of Satansplain here, but let’s leave on somewhat of an up note, instead. As long as we’ve brought The Satanic Temple, I’d like to read a bit of news from QueerSatanic. The QueerSatanic website and social media channels are by a group of four EX-members from the Satanic Temple whom the Satanic Temple has been trying to SUE. I’ve talked to people from the group here and there. Granted, QueerSatanic and I have our share of personal disagreements when it comes to politics and religion. But we’ve put those sorts of things all aside in our correspondence. In any case, I’m going to read you a bit of big news from their blog from a couple of weeks ago, and just let it speak for itself.
“Federal judge in Washington State dismisses Salem, Mass., corp’s SLAPP suit for the second time”
That’s the headline, and for those who don’t know, a SLAPP suit, S-L-A-P-P, stands for “strategic lawsuits against public participation”. So just to explain this quickly: it means a frivolous lawsuit, a lawsuit with no actual legal merit, whose only purpose is to more or less threaten the defendant into not criticizing the plaintiff. Now here in the United States we do have freedom of speech. That includes being free to criticize anything, so long as it’s not something like slander or libel. If I hate Pepsi for example, I have the freedom here in the United States to make an I Hate Pepsi website, I can write a song about how much I hate Pepsi, print a book titled Pepsi sucks. I CANNOT, however, print lies like, “Oh, Pepsi actually contains cyanide and arsenic and elephant manure, and that’s precisely what they put into the vats to make their drink”, because that would be slander. Or -- libel, rather. Slander is when it’s spoken; libel is when it’s printed.
But let’s say that my Pepsi Sucks book doesn’t have any actual libel in it. It’s all just personal opinion, and anecdotes, no lies. What would happen if Pepsi tried to sue me anyway? Well in an ideal world, we’d both show up to court, the judge would hear the arguments and say, “Yeah, you Pepsi people are clueless. Bill saying that he hates Pepsi is not libel. The defendant wins. Case dismissed. You can both go home.” Unfortunately one thing that Pepsi might do is to take me to court and weaken me by dragging everything out. “Show up to court on this date. No, wait, we’ve delayed it, try this date instead. No, try this date instead next year.” Meanwhile I’m paying all of these fees for a decent attorney, for registration fees or whatever, Pepsioco has no problem throwing tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees into this, because they can afford it. However, they know I CAN’T afford it, and hope that eventually I’ll reach a point where I’ll say, “Forget it, I take back what I said about Pepsi. This has been dragging on for too long and is costing me too much. I’ll accept your bargain to stop selling my book and delete my website if you drop the lawsuit.” So the whole point of a company filing a SLAPP suit is not because they think they’ll win the case, but because they think they’ll silence and destroy the opposition.
So with that description of a SLAPP suit out of the way, let’s read some of the article.
Seattle, Wash. — For the second time in nearly THREE YEARS of litigation, a federal district court in Washington State dismissed all claims made by The Satanic Temple against four of its former members. The Court found that, the federal claims having been previously dismissed, it lacked jurisdiction to hear The Satanic Temple’s remaining state law claims.
Quote, “We appreciate Judge Richard Jones confirming that the First Amendment still exists in this country,” defendant David Johnson said. “Religions are not immune from public criticism.”
[I would argue that The Satanic Temple isn’t a religion at all. Just a political stunt group who uses the NAME of an existing religion as a costume for those stunts. Like I said, they have many members who don’t even identify as Satanists. But I digress.]
After a schism in March 2020 in the Washington State chapter, the Temple alleged that then-social media manager Johnson used what had been the local chapter’s Facebook page, to post criticism of the Temple and how its leaders’ actions had not lived up to TST’s own stated tenets and values. This criticism came in the form of news articles, other former member testimonies, and past actions by TST co-owners Cevin Soling and Doug Misicko. Misicko has also used the public pseudonyms “Doug Mesner” and “Lucien Greaves” for the Temple, while Soling initially used the pseudonym “CALVIN Soling” for the lawsuit and uses “Malcolm Jarry” for the Temple.
Quote, “We’re not the first people The Temple has tried to bully or abuse into silence,” defendant Leah Fishbaugh said. “We were determined not to let The Satanic Temple intimidate us.”
In initial court filings, the Salem, Mass.-based for-profit corporation United Federation of Churches LLC dba “The Satanic Temple” tried to allege they were victims of defamation.
[Let me quickly repeat that part. The FOR profit corporation, the United Federation of Churches LLC. This has been known for a while but that corporation is one in the same with The Satanic Temple. They even had the website registered with the same public postal address. The tax forms are filed under the same address. You see this name in all of Satanic Temple’s lawsuits -- United Federation of Churches. They are The Satanic Temple. Reading on.]
The court dismissed the defamation claim with prejudice in February 2021 citing First Amendment protections, but the remaining claims were dismissed with leave to re-file. TST did so in March 2021, adding new claims, revising others, and dropping one. In April 2022, the Temple’s attempt at reconsideration failed and all remaining federal claims also were dismissed. In JUNE of 2022, TST’s lead counsel Matt Kezhaya admitted on his Reddit account that he needed to come up with, quote, “a credible justification that it is not-impossible [sic] a jury could legally award at least $75,000 in damages” and that he hoped legal defense costs squeezed, quote, “every last penny from [the defendants’] living corpses, and anyone that gives [them] the time of day.”
[Remember -- this is the side that’s suing QueerSatanic, to say, no, you’re WRONG, QueerSatanic. You can’t say that we don’t adhere to Satanic Temple principles like empathy and tolerance for other people. Hoping the legal defense costs will squeeze every last penny from the living corpses of the 4 QueerSatanic ex-members, AND ANYONE that gives them the time of day.” Well, I guess that includes me, since I’m talking about them.]
Quote from defendant Nathan Sullivan, “The Satanic Temple accused us of forming ‘a competitor organization’ to their religion based on a Facebook comment saying, ‘The Satanic Temple 2: Electric Boogaloo,’ so the outcome was never really in doubt,” defendant Nathan Sullivan said. “But, like the old saying, ‘You can beat the rap, but you can’t beat the ride,’ this SLAPP suit did what it was supposed to do for them.”
[The idea of the Satanic Temple accusing somebody else of being a competing Satanic organization is one I find funny, as a Church of Satan member, but I digress.]
“This has been a strain on our families, on our personal relationships, on our financial security, and on our physical and mental health,” defendant Leah Fishbaugh said. “I’m ready to finally have my life back.”
As of December 2022, total legal costs for the defendants exceeded $100,000.
Well…I THOUGHT I was going to end it on an up note. The up note is that another one of these lawsuits got dismissed.
Thank you for listening to Satansplain. This is Magister Bill M., shamelessly elitist Church of Satan snob and proud gatekeeper of Satanism, saying until next time, Hail Satan.
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